Retiring in Thailand

I’ve lived in rural Thailand for 7 years. As I am married to a Thai, I have a Non-O visa.  This cost about $70 a year.  Four-times a year (every 3 months) I drive about an hour up to Nakhonsawan and report (get my passport stamped).  This is easy, but when I renew this visa (once a year) I have to provide about twenty pages of documents.  My wife and I have the drill down, but in the back of my mind I think that if I were a Thai living in the US for 7 years I’d probably be a US citizen by now.  I will, however, never be a citizen of Thailand, it is not done except in very rare cases.

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The Immigration Police are police (most of them are women) and they expect to be treated as POLICE.  The middle aged woman we first talked to in Bangkok wore a side arm.  Things go smoothly for us now, but there have been times when I’ve been livid with this process.

Many expats here just have a tourist visa which they renew every three months.  You have to leave the country (Cambodia, Laos and now, I think, Myanmar) and come back and pay a fee.  I’ve never done this, but it can’t be too difficult because there are so many expats here.  One of my friends has been here for over a decade doing this, so . . . .

You get a free tourist visa at Suvarnabhumi Airport on arrival.  It’s good for 30 days and you can get it renewed for a week or so more, or join the line in the paragraph above.  You can get a 3 month visa through the Thai embassy in the US, but I don’t know if I’d bother doing this.  Your passport should have free pages and be good for at least six moths, too.  The US Embassy in Bangkok can get a renewal or add pages if you’re already here. You can also land at Chiang Mai or Phuket as well, but most tourist go through BKK Survarnabhumi.  (There will be a short spelling test at the end of this, so be ready.)

You will need to provide an address of where you will be staying in Thailand on the Immigration card.  The name of the hotel is unusually enough, but . . .

The flight from North America is long (about 22 hours in the air plus layovers).  If you can afford to buy Business Class for the longest leg, I would.  I might consider buying travel insurance (over and above what’s on your credit card) if it wasn’t too expensive.  You can get health care in Thailand easily and cheaply, but if you were seriously injured and had to be air evacuated . . . just a piece of mind type of thing.

Suvarnabhumi  (remember the test) is huge and has been criticized for being more a mall than an airport.  There will always be young Thais offering you help with hotels, etc., but if you have already booked a hotel, you can just say no thank you (mai ow kop).  Just look for the taxis sign.  There is a skytrain link to the city, which I really want to try, but taxis do just fine.  I doubt you will get ripped off – The Thais are good about making sure your first impression of the country isn’t getting ripped off.

The airport (do you remember its name?) is 30 miles or so south east of the city.  You may get to see some of the iconic skyline on the drive in, you will almost surely get stuck in traffic.

You will need your passport to register at a hotel (they will make a copy).  They may ask if you want them to keep the passport for you.  If you get money through an ATM machine using a debit or credit card, you may never need your passport.  If you want to rent a car, cash traveler’s checks, etc., you will need a passport.   Once you get settled, report (on-line) to the US Embassy (if you’re an American, of course).  Again, this is just a piece of mind thing, not something you have to do.

You probably want to spend a 3 – 5 days in Bangkok just to get rested up. There are tons of tours and things to do, but my essentials are The Temple of The Emerald Buddha and a pump boat ride on the river.  I call it the temple of Eastman Kodak for reasons kids today wouldn’t understand and the Chao Phraya River is within walking distance.  You’ll need to dress appropriately to see the Buddha (no shorts, no bare arms – you can rent coveralls at the Temple) and always take your shoes off before going inside (just about anywhere in Thailand, including my house!)  If you are not impressed after these little trips, you may be still suffering from jet lag.  The Jim Thompson house, Cabbages and Condoms restaurant, ride the skytrain-and non stop upscale and downscale shopping will keep you amused (I think).  Many US movies open in Bangkok first, so go to a cineplex.

Wear sensible shoes as sidewalks are often broken and just relax.  I had my pocket picked, so beware of crowds and keep you wallet in a front pocket.  There are “night markets” (make shift stalls selling everything imaginable) everywhere, so the sidewalk often disappears.  Taxis are the same price as tuk-tuks (the 3 wheeled motorcycles), but many taxis may not want to go where you want, so ask before you get in.   

Thais like hot (spicy) food, so be careful (ma pit – not spicy) are the first two words I learned.  If the vendor looks busy, his food is probably OK to eat.  Ma-pit, though, always ask.

I only eat steak at Sizzler or like franchises.  Thai steak isn’t good.  Burgers only from B-King or Micky-Ds.  Subways, Au Bon Pan etc, are all over Bangkok, too.  You can get any type of food your heart desires pretty much 24/7.  Thailand is a foodie empire.

MISC.

 

Driving

If you have a valid US licenser you can drive in Thailand.  If you stay, you will need a Thai license.  You can get one, but the Thais will try your patience (it’s part of the test).

Roads are OK.  4-lane highways between cities are good, most secondary roads are fine, too.  Do not travel on the two major Thai holidays when city workers go home.

Thais drive on the left, make a note of this.

I don’t drive in BKK, neither should you.

Work

You need a work visa to work.  If you are over fifty, you will probably not be granted a work visa (at least to teach).  The Thais would love if you helped with English education, but they will not pay you.  On the other hand, Thais are finally waking up to the fact that lack of English costs jobs and money. Don’t expect an English speaking group of expats in rural Thailand to make friends with.  Without a Thai spouse of friend, you may feel isolated.

IT

Possibly better (and cheaper) than the US.  Mobile phone 3 and 4G connections are easy to come by – even here in Chong Khae where there are now three internet cable companies.  So is cable (HD) TV.

Spirits

Beer is abut 5% alcohol, so be careful.  Wine is not universally available.  Whiskey meant Scotch when I first came here, but now (in the cities) you can get Jack or whatever you desire.

 

Foods hard to find

Pickles, cheese (including Mac & Cheese), chick peas, and green peas are hard to find.  Broccoli, cabbage lettuce, potatoes are easy to find.  Corn is a crop here, but if you taste it you’d swear they’re growing it for fodder.

Rice is a staple, so is pork.  But the Thais aren’t into bacon nor do they eat baked ham or pork chops as a general rule.  The Thais don’t bake, period.

Pizza.  My wife said Thais don’t eat pizza years ago, but Pizza Hut and Pizza Station do a great business.  They are learning.

Big Western Retailers

Big C and Lotus (TESCO) are everywhere.  You’d think you were in a WalMart in either store.  7-Eleven is the biggest retailer in Thailand – don’t laugh – and they’re often cheaper then the two above.  If you find a rural community with a 7-Eleven, you won’t feel isolated and in a foreign country.

Health Care

Shouldn’t be a problem.

Thailand’s Big Problems

There is an on-going battle between Muslims in the far south and Thai Buddhist, but it is a separatist war not necessarily a religious war .  It has been on-going for decades.  I consider it to be far away, but I wouldn’t want to live down there.

The Thais seem on the verge of more political violence.  I think if it erupts it will be in BKK.  It will be an out of control mob but who knows, but I am really not worried about it.  Fifteen people constitute a mob up here, and they are mostly for one side (The former, exiled, PM Thaksin – his sister is the current PM).

The populist government has dug themselves a financial hole with a rice pledging scheme, which pays/guarantees rice farmers before they grow rice. Unfortunately, the price the government pays is about 50% more than they can sell the rice for.  Duh.  Once you give someone money (to win votes) it’s very hard to take the money away.  Driving around here, you’d think Thailand’s major crop is rice barns to store rice.  The Hindenburg could fit in many of these barns.

Thais have a drug problem with methamphetamines, primarily from Myanmar.  I don’t see an uptick in crime here because of it, but who knows.  Illegal drugs are called yahba (essentially drugs wild).  Don’t even consider part of this scene.

Money

For a single person, 1 K a month should be more than enough to live comfortably (especially up here).  You cannot direct deposit social security in a Thai bank (you can get around this by opening an account with Bangkok Bank’s NYC office, though).  You are allowed dollar accounts here.

You could buy a condo, but foreigners (farangs) are not allowed to own land.  You can get around this, too, but I know nothing about the process.  I have a friend who could help you with this, should you want to do it.

There are no taxes to speak of.

Floods, etc.

We got flooded out of Ayutthaya in 2011, and almost got flooded out up here this year.  Landslides are not uncommon in hilly areas.  You won’t get snowed in, so no cabin fever.

Now for the test . . . Where is Sukumvit.  OK, it’s a trick question.