My obituary

As there are no English writers in Chong Khae, I figured I’d better write my obituary myself. I am frankly scared at what the Thais might come up with - trust  me on this one.

Forrest Greenwood (68) in Chong Khae Thailand after a short illness which persisted for almost seven decades.

Mr. Greenwood was the founder of Shrink-Wrap Taxidermy products which became an instant favorite with environmentalist and animal rights groups.  The company was on the verge of issuing a killer Martha Stewart brand of pre-cutout ensembles when the bubble burst due to a manufacturing defect.  Not only did Greenwood lose every thing, he also had to eat crow (and moose, horses, rabbits, bear and other wild game for years) all shipped back via the now defunct company’s liberal shipping policy.

As a pre-teen, Greenwood showed his entrepreneurial can-do spirit by suing the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) to include the word “tumescent” in the Boy Scout promise:  i.e. “brave, clean and tumescent.”  The suit was ultimately disallowed, but not before a generation of scouts became torn and conflicted.

Greenwood is survived by some six billion flat out strangers.  In lieu of flowers, the family requests that someone come and take the body.   

All rights reserved as this will become a new obituary-writing app for either apple or android called Obiteme.