2011 Predictions
From the world of science and technology
The Nobel Prize Committee’s original notes show they never meant to issue a prize for economics, but instead one for echo-nomics and the science of yodeling.
The VLS collider in Bern finds the God-particle, but scientist refuses to tell anyone about it. When police raid the underground facility all personnel have vanished. A supposed ransom note, however, demands all the chocolate ice cream and sprills in the world for the much sought after answer.
WikiLeaks: Professor Stephen Hawking has been feigning his illness to score with coeds.
Processed food starts to be coated with Teflon for easy clean up
Government outlaws TV remotes in last ditch effort to cure American obesity.
Tablet PC users bemoan loss of follow-on newspaper uses such as fish wrap, bird
cage floor cover, and window polisher. Housewives wonder: Jobbed by Jobs again? .
In Education & Politics
In an effort to boost math and science test scores, the Federal government mandates that all Language Arts, History, Geography, and Social Study courses be abolished from the US K – 12 curriculums. The President cites this move as a temporary fix until our kids are better than, you know, others.
Barack Obama’s birth certificate surfaces, not in Hawaii, but overseas in the State of Wyoming.
Pakistan loses US foreign aid over support of Al-Qaeda but gets it back when US Teachers Union complains that five of its members claim the country as home of record.
Nine of twenty-two arrested for loitering around national monuments were, in fact, Supreme Court Justices. Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano denies profiling.
Social Media
Within a week FaceBook stock fall to nil as a new site Derriere catches main-stream fad fancy.
Criminal divide: Goldman Sachs bans FaceBook, most penitentiaries do not.
Sports
Looking to expand, Boston Red Sox owners promise Fenway Park to be renovated to world class cricket grounds by 2015.
Patriots allow paid admission for team scrimmages. If successful, they may withdraw from NFL.
Entertainment
Piers Morgan officially changes name to Larry King. Promises to bowl first wicket at Fenway opener.
From the world of science and technology
The Nobel Prize Committee’s original notes show they never meant to issue a prize for economics, but instead one for echo-nomics and the science of yodeling.
The VLS collider in Bern finds the God-particle, but scientist refuses to tell anyone about it. When police raid the underground facility all personnel have vanished. A supposed ransom note, however, demands all the chocolate ice cream and sprills in the world for the much sought after answer.
WikiLeaks: Professor Stephen Hawking has been feigning his illness to score with coeds.
Processed food starts to be coated with Teflon for easy clean up
Government outlaws TV remotes in last ditch effort to cure American obesity.
Tablet PC users bemoan loss of follow-on newspaper uses such as fish wrap, bird
cage floor cover, and window polisher. Housewives wonder: Jobbed by Jobs again? .
In Education & Politics
In an effort to boost math and science test scores, the Federal government mandates that all Language Arts, History, Geography, and Social Study courses be abolished from the US K – 12 curriculums. The President cites this move as a temporary fix until our kids are better than, you know, others.
Barack Obama’s birth certificate surfaces, not in Hawaii, but overseas in the State of Wyoming.
Pakistan loses US foreign aid over support of Al-Qaeda but gets it back when US Teachers Union complains that five of its members claim the country as home of record.
Nine of twenty-two arrested for loitering around national monuments were, in fact, Supreme Court Justices. Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano denies profiling.
Social Media
Within a week FaceBook stock fall to nil as a new site Derriere catches main-stream fad fancy.
Criminal divide: Goldman Sachs bans FaceBook, most penitentiaries do not.
Sports
Looking to expand, Boston Red Sox owners promise Fenway Park to be renovated to world class cricket grounds by 2015.
Patriots allow paid admission for team scrimmages. If successful, they may withdraw from NFL.
Entertainment
Piers Morgan officially changes name to Larry King. Promises to bowl first wicket at Fenway opener.
posted by Forrest at
6:16 PM
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